When the darkness ends…[TVXQ Reflections]

When the darkness ends…

One, two, three, four, five…a young girl counts her fingers one by one. She holds them up towards the sun who has just awakened from its long slumber and casted its light upon the world it adores. Her ebony black hair illuminates with the shining magnificence of the sun; her eyes glow, as if a god has descended upon her very eyes. She stares at her fingers, still reaching towards the warm light, her eyes twitches as she moves them closer to her heart. She is blinded by the light, but soon gets soothed by it. She smiles with her new found pleasure; she moves her lips to produce a small gap and a voice is heard…
"Waiting for the rising sun…"

She opens her eyes. Nothing but void. Nothing but darkness. A “purple line” of goodbye appears on the west where she was standing, watching the disappearance of her light. She stretches her arms to touch anything solid, but she could only grasp cold air. She speaks, but nothing comes out. She starts to walk, without any idea on where she could possibly head to. She extends her legs, one after the other, continuing on the path of no assurance. With all of these, she keeps her faith. She keeps praying, that one day, even in a dark place like that, the sun would shine her path, and lead her to where she could stay in the arms of those who would tell her, “I believe” in you…

She wants to “break out” from the hands of oblivion. She wants to “share the world” with someone else. She wants to “hug” a wonderful future ahead of her. She wants to  free her mind of the “triangle” of darkness- anxiety, fear and loneliness. She wants to "ride on" a new destiny, to feel a “rainbow” of feelings, to have people that are “always there” for her, tell her that there is nothing more pleasurable but to “stand by you” and to have them be "proud" of her love. In return, she would “stand up” for them, take them to places “nobody knows”, and tell them “you’re my melody” or “you’re my miracle”. In a snap of a moment, she is released from this momentary dream. She has nothing but “darkness in her eyes”.

She refuses to falter. She walks still, holding on to the belief that “Tomorrow will come”, that there is no “dead end”, and that there will surely be an exit. She struggles to keep her eyes open, that this “mirotic” place has an oasis. And there in that oasis, rests the synthesis * ( union) of all these dreams. And a question remains, whether her faith would lead her to where she longs to be, or have her end up in vain.

All efforts soon end in nothing. She sits on a corner, where the darkness engulfs her by the second. The once dry and hard cheeks turn soft with overflowing tears. The cold threatens her, the silence kills her ears. Impatience starts to get the best of her emotions; her eyes turn dull with swell. She clings to her knees like a lost child, she holds on to the ounce of sanity she has left. She asks, but no one answers, “When is the sun going to show its face to me? Where are the gods going to take me to the ‘paradise’ they promised me?”. Her mind is filled with nothing but questions. As the night lives longer, more and more questions are presented, and more and more become unanswered.

She lies down, staring at nothing but blankness. She closes her eyes once again, to engage in a deep slumber, acting like a sleeping beauty waiting for her prince to give her love’s first kiss. She dozes off, praying eternally that the next moment she opens her eyes, she would see light. Not just any light, but light from the east, where the center of the solar system is sitting still.

“Tonight” is a moment of sorrow. Tomorrow is the moment of reckoning. She suddenly responds to the wet feeling on her cheeks. This time, the element weren’t tears – they were sweat. She felt sweat. A hint of movement arises from her tired eyes, she slowly opens them and her eyes slowly get its glow back. She raises her right hand towards where an element hurts her eyes. She is finally able to open her eyes fully by the shade brought about by her hand.

One, two, three, four, five….she counts, each finger folding to create a fist. She holds her fist near her heart and feels its throbbing. Crazy feelings want to burst out. She opens her lips for a small gap, while the strands of her hair “shine” with the thing she waited for so long. Her eyes glow with indignation at the sight of the blue sky. She sings “hi ya ya” with great joy, then holds her arms open, as if welcoming visitors. With a ray of illumination, five gods descend to her.

When the darkness ends, the sun rises. Five gods descend from the east, together, with a harmony that could capture a young girl’s faith eternally…

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