I never once thought in my life that someday, in which that day is today, that I would be writing a letter to multiple people. Last year, I only wrote letters to only four people, myself, two of my closest friends and my mom- not that I didn’t have friends, but the meaningful ones only were for me, two of my closest friends and my mom, like I said. Here goes my first letter to a family, which also, never in my life I thought I’d have. I’m a complete newbie at this, but I wrote this with all my heart, mind and soul.
2010 proved to be a “Dream Come True” for me. The past years were like, simple. So simple that I couldn’t be contented. I go to school every day *I won’t enumerate all, just like, a typical student?*. deep in my heart, every time I look at the mirror, I always ask myself, “Am I really happy?”. I may have the things others don’t, but much of the things everyone around me have, I don’t. I never had. I don’t know why myself, but I never really had that much friends. Only a few, a few that only share the same a few likes with me, sometimes, people who just work with me because, yeah, we have the same work to do. With that, I developed this habit of choosing people to be friends, people who reflect my being – as an assurance I wouldn’t be left alone in the future. As a result, I always had only one friend.
Sad life? Not really. I can say, empty. I realized that I wasn’t seeing the world, because I am also confined in this lonely world of mine. I always thought that my purpose in life was to be the “Goody-Two-Shoes” type, study, get high marks, get awards, try to get the highest positions in any school club – whatever, come home to tell stories and try to differentiate myself from my father’s other daughters and sons , wives he had before me and my mother, who all graduated from the most prestigious universities and had everything and all that glamour. It was the only way I could build confidence for myself. And hell loved me so much that during the time I decided to step out to see the world, I made a stupid mistake and ended up being cursed by the only family I had – my mother. She completely lost trust on me because of that stupid mistake. *I can’t tell much of that mistake, but it’s just about choosing friends, I chose wrong friends that once that led me into nonsense spending, and sometimes I’d cut classes too*
So, in order to restart, I went back to my previous life.
Come late 2009. I met this person who completely thinks the same way as I do. We had the same dreams, the same views on life, the same opinions of people, the same hobbies, the same passion. We only had one difference, she listened to a different type of music (read: KPOP), while I listen to JPOP. Small difference? Not so. Music was like my BFF, it was always there during the times the earth itself would crush me. So whenever music talks came up, we’d always clash, though we tried to understand each other. It was funny how that small difference I loathed so much before brought me here.
Fast forward. She told me about DBSK. I won’t tell much of DBSK, because you guys already know how my history of DBSK goes like *how it changed my life and all that*, what I’d like to emphasize here is that DBSK became the key to a room which had so many treasures inside it. Of course, I’m talking about you, guys.
So, in a snap *in a span of a few months since I first heard of DBSK* I gained battalions of friends! Well, I don’t consider Cassiopeia as friends anymore, more like my family, as I’ve said many times already. This may sound cheesy, but I’d gladly lose all the things I have if it was for Cassiopeia and DBSK. After all, you opened up a new life for me, and the very first day I shared my life with you, I know I’d be with you forever, and every second would be forever.
For the first time in my life, I didn’t hold back. I’d show every inch of my heart, mind and soul. For the first time in my life, my heart beat for something I really love. For the first time in my life, I removed that mask that covered the real me which I used to please everybody around me. For the first time in my life people loved me for who I am. For the first time in my life, I laughed like there was no tomorrow. For the first time in my life, I cried in front of many eyes, these eyes, understanding, not judging. For the first time in my life, I didn’t want time to move even for a second.
I can’t say much anymore. A lot has been said. But these: I won’t get tired of saying…
I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH, MY CASSIOPEIA FAMILY – MORE THAN THE AIR I BREATHE.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR A WONDERFUL YEAR. AND THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FOR MORE BEAUTIFUL YEARS TO COME. AND MUCH, MUCH, MUCH MORE THANKS FOR THE FOREVER WE WILL BE SPENDING TOGETHER.
AND DONG BANG SHIN KI ISN’T THE ONLY REASON WHY I WANT TO BE WITH YOU, IT’S BECAUSE I’VE COME TO LOVE YOU AND THINK OF YOU NOT JUST AS CO-FANS ANYMORE, BUT A PART OF MY LIFE. A PART OF EVERY RED CELL IN MY BODY, A PART OF EVERY ATOM IN MY BODY, A PART OF MY VERY SOUL.
LET’S LOVE FOREVER. 😀
-From Angel ❤