The Red Room of Realizations [A CASSPH 9G: THE RED ROOM EXHIBIT FANACCOUNT/DIARY]

February 25 has passed but the memories remain fresh in my heart mind and soul. Not only did Cassiopeia Philippines’ 9G: The Red Room Exhibit bring smiles, tears and laughter to Cassies and Non-Cassies alike, but it also brought a lot of realizations for me and some of my closest friends I now call my family. These very reasons are what made the attendees’ comments true and real: that 9G was, “The best and most epic gathering the KPOP Fanclub of the Year had so far”

REALIZATIONS ON WORK AND LABOR OF LOVE

Just like the previous gathering, 9G, for me, Dan, Gielyn and Ate Kay Anne, already started a few months even before it was announced to the public. The 9th gathering was our second gathering as volunteers/trainees, so we had to do loads of work to prepare for the event. Since the gathering will carry the theme that of Omotesando in Toholand a.k.a Japan, the preparations were no easy feat. We had to do every little piece of what was going to be exhibited – from cupcake toppers to artist panels. We had to do lots of cutting, slashing, printing, mounting and covering. Luckily, the core members allowed us to recruit volunteers, the same way they recruited us for 8G before.

The week before the 25th was especially hard. We had to make sacrifices here and there, but we were equally prepared for everything. After all, we had done this before, and we already know exactly how sweet the fruits were going to be after. Instead of working under pressure, we worked with smiles and lots of laughter. Even though we felt exhausted at times and perhaps screamed a bit on each other, we held on to the fact that we were working for the love of this family, and for the sake of the smiles we were going to see a week after. With these, the four of us realized that we can do these for more years to come. Working for love was very sweet – and addicting.

REALIZATIONS AS A CASSIOPEIA

Because the theme of the gathering was like a museum of DBSK/THSK/TVXQ’s achievements for the past 9 years, I realized a lot of things while looking at those panels and displays: I was hurting inside. I was hurting not only because it was such a waste that a living legend like Jaejoong, Yunho, Yoochun, Junsu and Changmin were suffering unfortunate situations at present, but also because I felt pity towards myself.

I’ve only been a Cassiopeia for three years. I only discovered them when the disputes already started. It hit really hard and I kept asking myself, “Why only now?”. Sometimes I even told myself, “How come they didn’t wait for me?”. Looking at all the releases, merchandise and concerts they’ve had, I was wondering that maybe, maybe if I discovered them a little earlier, I would have gone to each concert, fanmeeting, fansigning; bought all merchandise and releases and even spazzed at every new release and MV. But I wasn’t there. I wasn’t there when they debuted; I wasn’t there when they were at their peak. I wasn’t even there when they were saddest regarding the fact that they were going to split soon. Where was I during all those times?
Then I realized, those years were when I was suffering from extreme emptiness. At 2003, I was still moving on from the passing away of my father. At 2006/2007, I was rebellious towards certain things that happened in my personal life. At 2008, I wasted my youth and did not enjoy much because of some wrong decisions. Those were DBSK/THSK/TVXQ’s glorious years. I wondered more; maybe if during those years I was already their fan, maybe – not maybe but surely, my life would have been much better. It hurt to know that. It hurt to regret that much.

I traveled back in time at 9G – the travel that made me both proud of the achievements of the five men I love the most, but sad and regretful at the same time, because of the self-pity I felt extremely. And of course, the wish that couldn’t be fulfilled at the moment: the wish that their legacy as five would continue.

REALIZATION AS TRAINEE –slash- CORE MEMBER OF CASSPH

This one’s a different meaning of “realization”…

A year before, when we were first recruited as volunteers for CassPh, we all knew what was up for us in the future – somehow we knew. It was the path any Cassie would crave to walk on – the road to becoming an administrator of the premiere fanclub of TVXQ/JYJ in the Philippines.

After the 8th gathering last year, we were welcomed with a message that said “congratulations” and that we [Gielyn, Dan, Ate Kay and Me] were going to step out from being “volunteers” to being “Trainees”. Trainees to later become that “dream”.

Fast forward to the week before the 25th. Aside from the fact that the four of us already held CassPh official facebook pages, we were given a hard task. That very task made us realize that it was only a matter of time before we reach our dream. But it didn’t make that much effect on us, after all, we were just assuming – especially me, because I did not feel deserving of that was happening. I firmly believe somebody else, somebody who’s been a part of the fandom way before I even arrived; because that prestigious position was fit only for the truest fans. Although I knew that I gave my time for this family, I believed somebody else would have done the same thing – because we all love this family.

After the exhausting but fun day at the 9G, the four of us were contented with the success of the gathering. We sang and danced while packing all the stuff and cleaning the walls – a sign that were in cloud 9. Our bodies were about to give up on us but we kept moving, we were energized enough to do so.

A few minutes after, we received the news. It was that. We finally realized that “dream”.
Tears came gushing out from our tired, exhausted but sparkling eyes. I don’t even have to describe it, it was one of the most magical moments of my life. We couldn’t say or do anything but hug and cry at each other. All the core members greeted and congratulated us – it made our hearts warm and happy beyond comprehension.

REALIZATIONS FOR THE FUTURE

What else can I say..

Dong Bang Shin Ki brought me wonders in my life. I am so amazed that I am looking forward to more wonders to come. Only they, only these five men, along with the people I now call my family, can lead me to wonderland. It is more than enough of a reason to hold on.

We’ll see you as five again in the future; Jaejoong, Yunho, Yoochun, Junsu and Changmin!
Until then, we’ll work our hardest to make your proud.

Because every time we remember your happy faces and your music, we fall in love again and again. Faith never falters, passion is alive and kicking.
Always Keep The Faith & Hope To The Very End.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s