(Photo Credits: SM Entertainment)
So finally, they have returned. Who would have thought, that aside from fulfilling my fangirl needs, the official release of 24 mind-blowing tracks, 2 artistically created albums, re-affirmation of my love for 12 adorable boys – would bonk my head even to the last minute for more realizations and answers to lingering questions?
I certainly do not know what kind of magic SM Entertainment worked on EXO, but I am certainly beyond enchanted with the return of Kris, Sehun, Suho, Lu Han, Baekhyun, Kai, Lay, Tao, Chanyeol, D.O., Chen and Xiumin. And it’s not only because I’ve waited for almost a year for a new set of songs, performances, guestings, videos and costumes – it’s simply because the wait was definitely worth it. No, that’s a statement that has been used for so many times, so I’d rather say that….
The reasons for the long wait are more than accepted now that the fruits have shone their shine in front of the fandom’s eyes. And without exaggeration, had SM Entertainment only told me (read: us) that the comeback would be this satisfying, I wouldn’t mind waiting for another year.
Pathetic as it may seem, it was only until I finished listening to all 24 tracks that I finally realized that yes, the boys have returned. Even so, I still have this feeling of disbelief inside of me, like everything that is happening is but a dream. I have no idea, if it’s because the gap between the MAMA Era and the XOXO Era was simply long, or just because I have been used to getting my hopes crushed for years. Breaking out from a place full of wounds and seeing a paradise of 12 young men you have come to love grow up and become better men each day; where the extremest pain so far would be the sudden disappearance of my eyes’ apple (yet, he returned later) or the inevitable chaos that occurs at the airports every time makes it hard for me to adjust. It’s just like being accustomed to the dark, then suddenly your eyes flutter open yet you’re having problems adjusting to a blinding light that suddenly pierces your vision. No, I am not yet used to the feeling. But I’m learning each day… and I definitely cherish every magical feeling I am discovering inside me, while playing the tracks from these beautiful albums, that have become my salvation to a beautiful world I once thought never existed. I am happier each day because of the birth of these emotions – and I am looking forward to more days, weeks, months, years of happiness. The taste is surreal.
Pulling out my earphones after more than hour of listening to the twin albums in one sitting, one statement came into my mind: “I didn’t go wrong with you”
The contentment in life these 12 young men give me each day: waking up rushing in front of my computer screen to check how their day would go, listening to their voices that constantly improve each performance, watching their videos that little by little bare their real selves to me, chatting with new and old friends (whom I thank the heavens for, because they joined me in this quest for a new world. What can be more exciting than discovering new things with people you treasure so much?) alike who share the same feelings for them; leaving for daily itineraries with a smile on my face, finishing each task and activity holding on to the excitement of expecting new things related to them to happen, occasionally being a bad girl and peeking on my phone for updates – giggling in the process which makes me more alive than ever; going home checking out updates on how their day went, writing diary entries about how another wonderful day has happened, lying on my bed while praying to the heavens for these wonderful memories to last forever and even seeing them in my dreams and finally waking up to another day full of expectations – that is for me, contentment. And I’ve never been contented.
It is perhaps because of these spectrum of emotions that I have become more optimistic in life. Someone once told me, that the key to living a better life without burdens and misery is just smiling always. But of course, it is never easy to smile out of the blue – especially if you’re like me, who has trouble dealing with emotions. But ever since EXO has entered mine and my best friends’ lives, it is never hard to elicit a smile from my lips. Laughing together at the adorableness and craziness of these 12 boys we claim to be fans of, crying together because of the overwhelming feelings every performance leaves us – how can one not be contented? And I can say that I’ve never looked forward to each day this much in my life.
And suddenly, this post isn’t about the comeback itself any longer. Funny how thoughts jump in in my mind like wolves digging for meat whenever I talk about EXO. So, what triggered me to write this post again? Oh yes, the unfolding of another chapter…
This comeback did not only push me to write those thoughts I just talked about. They also re-affirmed them. Hearing their improved voices once again, with new and fresh melodies and with more confidence, assured me that there is more to discover in this tale, more smiles to wait for and of course, more days of optimism that will most likely end up with years of happiness and contentment. And I just realized I’ve used the words ‘happiness’ and ‘contentment’ way too many times in this post. I can’t help it – I can’t find any more words to use.
MAMA once spoke of a new world to expect: the inviting and awakening MAMA, the passion of WHAT IS LOVE, the enchanting images INTO YOUR WORLD (ANGEL) painted in each one of us, the power showcased by TWO MOONS, the versatility of MACHINE and the promises of innovation brought by HISTORY. Likewise, each track in XOXO speaks of promises for more memories to come: WOLF speaks of unlimited potential, BABY DON’T CRY reawakens everyone’s beliefs in the existence of unconditional love, LET OUT THE BEAST of strength that gets stronger with time, BLACK PEARL instills a belief that it is unique love that will find each one of us, DON’T GO encourages us to hold on to the the emotions that we treasure, 3.6.5 teaches us that each day is a new day, HEART ATTACK paints the array of emotions one feels when the heart beats, BABY speaks of pure love, PETER PAN of how joyful it is to travel worlds with the people you love and MY LADY with dedication and devotion.
But it is not the songs themselves alone that turn the pages of this fairy tale – but of course, the members themselves who have put their hearts into the creation of these wonderful music, that enabled me to become the way I am right now. Kris, Sehun, Suho, Lu Han, Baekhyun, Kai, Lay, Tao, Chanyeol, D.O., Chen and Xiumin – you guys have done a good job. You just showed me, for perhaps the hundredth time ever since my eyes first fell on you, that you deserve not only mine, but everyone’s love.
I am ending this post here, because I do not want to run out of words to use for the next posts to come. Surely, with all these feelings on hand, and all these expectations, there will be more entries to grace this blog – a blog that if you guys hadn’t realized yet, is solely dedicated to the reasons why I always have new thoughts to write about each day.
EXO comes back, and after so many years, I start to believe again that fairy tales aren’t just for children – that magical moments don’t only happen on Disney stories, and that chapters don’t only continue in books. And most of all, that real life can be as perfect as fantasy. Thank you for existing, and continuing to exist, EXO.
(Photo Credits: EXO LINE ACCOUNT)